Ce ar trebui sa stie sa faca o femeie.

Nici nu se racise bine articolui lui Adi Soare despre abilitatile pe care trebuie sa le aiba o femeie in bucatarie ca, in timp ce savuram minunata scriitura a domnului Salman Rushdie din “The Enchantress of Florence”, dau peste un paragraf care pe langa fermecarea de netagaduit, mi-a starnit rasul. Am sa il redau mai jos, asa cum l-am citit (imi cer scuze fata de cei ce nu se inteleg cu limba lui Shakespeare, dar sunt suficient de modesta incat sa nu ma apuc chiar eu de tradus).

Iata, deci, ce trebuie sa stie sa faca o femeie pentru a … multumi un barbat:

“For a woman to please a man,” the emperor said, “it is necessary that she be able to sing. She should know how to play musical instruments, and dance, and do all three things together when requested: singing, dancing and piping on a flute or fiddling a tune upon a string”. She should write well, be adept in the giving of tattoos, and be prepared to receive them in whatsoever place the man should desire. She should know how to speak the language of flowers when decorating beds or couches, or event when decorating the ground” […]

[…] Silently, slowly, like mind-creatures in a dream, the concubines circled and swayed. They stirred the air around the emperor into a magic soup flavored with the spices of arousal. There was no hurry. The emperor ruled over everything. Time itself could be stretched and paused. There was all the time in the world.

” In the arts of staining, dyeing, coloring, and painting her teeth, her clothes, her nails, and her body a woman should be beyond compare,” the emperor said, his speech now sluggish with lust. Wine was brought in golden glass pitchers and he drank in large, unwise gulps. A pipe was brought forward and then there was opium smoke in his pupils. The concubines were closer now, circling inward, their bodies beginning to brush those of the emperor and his guest. In the emperor’s company, one was emperor for a day. His privileges became yours as well. ” A woman should know how to play music on glasses filled to different heights, with liquids of various sorts,” said the emperor, slurring his words. “She should be able to fix stained glass into a floor. She should know how to make, trim, and hang a picture; how to fashion a necklace, a rosary, a garland or a wreath; or how to store or gather water in an aqueduct or tank. She should know about scents. And about ornament for the ear. And she should be able to act, and to lay on theatrical shows, and she should be quick and sure in her hands and be able to cook and make lemonade or sherbet, and wear jewels, and bind a man’s turban. And she should, of course, know magic. A woman who knows these few things is almost the equal of any ignorant brute of a man.”

Simplu, nu?